Anyway, as I was rereading what I had written I was disgusted with myself. I thought of the pictures I see and articles I read in Voice of the Martyrs magazines. People who live out their faith in a way that I can't even comprehend. Who find so much joy in the fact that they know the truth of the Gospel. They live their lives everyday in the knowledge that they may be beaten, tortured, or even die for their faith in God. Many of them are in living conditions that we here in the USA would consider unthinkable. But they get up every morning determined to live out their faith and you can see the joy and determination on their faces. What is MY problem?????
Being deeply convicted, I flipped in my Bible to the Psalms. I just started writing out praises from there as I saw them. Psalms that reminded me of God's goodness, His love, His mercy, His care for me.... My heart began to change. I am spoiled. I have so much yet I unintentionally buy into the idea that what I have is not enough. I need a friend. I need more clothes. I need for my boys to get a haircut. I need eggnog creamer for my coffee. I need the Biology CD that goes with the book. I need a potty seat that sits on the toilet for Leah. Silly things. I know.
BUT, when I read my Bible yesterday I was convicted to go to the end of Luke 10. The story of Mary and Martha.
41But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things;42but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
What stood out to me was "only one thing is necessary". I thought about it again this morning. Only one thing is necessary. That's right. Sitting at the feet of Jesus. After all, isn't He everything? Through Him I have salvation, hope, peace, victory, access to God, eternal life... and so much more.
I have to say that God brought Leah to my mind this morning. She loves to sing. LOVES TO SING. In fact, there are many nights that Alissa, who shares her room, brings a sleeping bag into the boys room and sleeps on their floor since she can't get to sleep because Leah is singing! But it's WHAT she sings that is so precious to me. "Your name is a strong and mighty tower, Your name is a shelter like no other, Your name let the nations sing it louder. Nothing has the power to save but Your name" "Our God is greater, our God is stronger, our God is higher than any other" "When you do it for the least of these Jesus sees, Jesus sees" "In the beginning God made the heavens and the earth-and it was good" and so many others that praise the name of Jesus. I need to learn a lesson from her. Let my heart sing praise to Him today. He is my source of everything that is good. I will choose to tap into that today! I will choose to praise.